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When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Why didn't the two feet get along? Hearing a noise at the foot of the bed, he shot off his big toe.

What has four legs and is man's best friend? Q: Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? What do you call when you break your toe and can't drive your car? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? What kind of magic do cows believe in? Why did the tomato blush? Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? The competition was "nasty", but she was Nastia! What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? " I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.

Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

Dogs can't see your bones.

The longer you play with it, the harder it gets.

Here's a rundown of some jokes that are toe-tally hilarious to crack and laugh about.

A pessimist's blood type is always B-.

Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Contestant: Geronimo Correct Answer Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? What did the Mexican fireman name his twin sons? I had an appointment to see my psychic next week, but she just called to cancel.

I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it is hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood.

I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.